Work was work today. I am not sure that I got all that much done, but I am certain that I am set up to get a whole lot done.
Jen was at the Bagel store this morning, but not working. She caught me outside to tell me that she really couldn't go out with me on account of her having a boyfriend and all. She said that the reason that she hadn't said anything the day before was that she was so flattered. I am somehow not really upset by all of this. It was really enough that she said OK in the first place. I told her that it was quite alright, that I was glad that she told me as opposed to not calling, and that if she was going to go out and do something in a group to let me know. I am really looking for friends right now. People to hang out with and all.
There are a whole lot of things that I have come to think about as a result of my mailings with a friend back home. One is that I am not intemidated by anyone. I think this is because I know that there are people out there better at something than me. It is in that acknoledgement that I loose the intimidation. I think this is necessary since I don't believe that anything other than fear can come from such feelings.
The traffic on my site has been going up and I cannot be sure who is actually reading this. I know some of the people who do, but for the most part, feel free to rip me a mail and let me know what you do or do not think.
So another thing that pops to mind is how close I am to reaching a major breakthrough in my life. For a really, REALLY long time I have been keeping myself and, more so, my emotions in check. This has led to I believe several things. One, I know that when I need to I can exert control on my emotional state in order to get things done. Two, performing the activities of limiting one's self leads to unspent creative energy. Three, I have been doing this holding back for way too long. So, I have been letting it run a little loose these last couple of weeks. I can feel a huge back-pressure of things just waiting to come pouring out. I hope that no one else gets caught up in it. No wait, that is not right. I hope that everyone I know can get caught up in it and use that energy to its fullest.
Something perhaps tells me that those of you who read this have noticed the change. If you haven't been keeping up, just take a look at the length of the posts and how much more they say out in the open. Check out the bit of creativity that leaked out on 02.02.2001. Oh it has been a long time coming and it is going to be so good.
Going out with Daniel to grab a beer and check out some music tonight. Take care all, and Chuck, I will call.