sometimes it is best to step back and watch people do their thing. meanwhile it is always good to listen to what people really are saying. a new aquaintance of mine was talking about this idea which he calls a touchdown. this happens where you get to say, take a girl to her house from an evening out even when she has a boyfriend. while the idea seems to be valid i think it implies too much. for starters, it seems to say that the only way you are going to "win" in a meeing situation where you meet someone who isn't in another relationship is to get more out of it than that. in addition to that, it seems to imply some kind of winner and looser in every encounter. i don't think that this is the way to look at it at all, but his analogy does provide a great stepping stone to looking at situations. take each situation for what it is. a conversation, a brush-off, something a little bit more. each one can be good for much more that you thing at the very beginning.
damnit, i will have to edit this in the morning (afternoon) for clearity.